So I took my anti-depressant filled body off to the gynae yesterday for the "four weeks after D&C " check up.
I immediately went into "rabbit caught in headlights" mode, but then took a few deep breaths and decided I have the right to be where I am right now. This is MY life, MY emotions and MY mess so I will sort it out and spill my guts if and when needed.
He claimed the miscarriage "material" that was analized to have "failed to grow" as being age related. Fair enough.
We then spoke about my recurrent depression ( which he says I will need permanent treatment for ) , our marital hassles and the decision to have another child.
His advice was to "sort out your head first" which I suppose is good advice. We all know that pregnancy and a newborn takes a lot out of you mentally and physically.
"BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME ", I kept on saying.
"You do have time. You have at least three more reproductive years left. " ?????? ( I have recently done some "research" into this and have found so many "older mothers" up to the age of 44 with healthy babies ! )
So for now the plans are :
1. Stay on medication for depression for three months and then do a review of the situation.
2. See a therapist to deal with marital and other issues ( living on a farm in the sticks makes this one VERY difficult and VERY expensive )
3. Do not attempt to fall pregnant again for at least six months.....
"And hope does not
disappoint us, because
God has poured out His love
into our hearts by the Holy Spirit
whom he has given us "
Romans 5 : 5
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Wise decision, as I said to you yesterday.
ReplyDeleteYour head needs to be dealt with first and foremostly. Once that is sorted the rest will fall into place.
Wise counsel. Focus on what is in your hands right now - the stuff you can make work.
ReplyDeleteStrongs to you.